For a politico of my caliber, today, tomorrow, and the next day resemble the commercial breaks in the anime Kuroshitsuji, or Black Butler. In keeping with its Victorian setting, Kuroshitsuji frames its midway ads as an Intermission. And truly, these three days are sandwiched by two game-changing elections, which by their nature should but in fact rarely are, held back-to-back. The upper two Low Countries, see, have general elections, yesterday in the Netherlands, and on the Lord's Day in Belgium. Thusfar, I feel rather ambivalent regarding the results. Though Geert Wilders' notorious anti-Islam, immigration restrictionist Party for Freedom grew from 9 to 24 seats, that atheist's party doesn't stand for the sort of moral order which could reinvigorate decadent Dutch society, and Wilders frequently distances himself from more vigorous Right-wing parties like the French National Front and Austrian Freedom Party. In the bigger picture, the Christian democratic parties lost ground to market liberals. Certainly bad news. At least the traditional Protestant-confessional Reformed Political Party, while neither growing nor shrinking its representation, garnered 1.7 rather than 1.6% of the vote as in 2006. (In one's researches, they were rather cheered to discover there's a Dutch Bible Belt!) The outlook for the Belgians is also mixed. While the biggest Flemish language party come Sunday will likely be the New Flemish Alliance, a conservative party of those longing for separation from the welfare-sucking Walloons, it is siphoning off many votes which would otherwise have gone to the further Right, nationalist Flemish Interest.

Verily, this Pundit yearns for the stability of monarchy. where the ascension of one ruler might well set the political tone for decades, and where the heckling of the opposition would perhaps be more limited! The cruel joke, of course, is that the Netherlands and Belgium are monarchies, and Belgium a Catholic monarchy; the monarchs are simply figureheads. Even Iran is enviably free of this dreadful cycle of uncertainty; through the overarching authority of the mullahs, and the regime's almost shameless corruption, the electoral triumph of true sons of the conservative-revolutionary Islamic Republic over the "reformist" liberals celebrated by the West is ensured.

*************

Now that I'm done lamenting the Christian democrats and envying the Iranians, it's time for a long-overdue summer film recommendation! And I do hearken back to the good old days of film--we're going way back! Bill Clinton was president, but hadn't yet committed those regrettable actions which inspire a seemingly endless variety of Ann Counter jokes regarding a stained dress, and Newt Gingrich was House Majority Leader. It was 1996, the year of welfare reform. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air had just completed its final season, and the career of star Will Smith was on the rise. While the brief-but-timeless My Brother and Me had run its course the previous year, Salute Your Shorts reruns still filled the air, Clarissa continued to explain it all, and The Adventures of Pete and Pete continued to rule the Nickelodeon waves. Space Jam, featuring Michael Jordan, hit theaters in November and did not fail to impress. Just months earlier, however, an even greater film, starring another basketball giant, and released just months earlier, has been poorly received by crass critics ever since, worngly earning a spot on Wikipedia's List of Films Considered the Worst.

The feature whose praises I sing is Kazaam. I was seven. Kazaam is the first film I remember seeing in theaters. Sure, if you press me I may remember some elements of theater films I saw when I was younger, but Kazaam... that's the first time I remember the big screen, the joy of seeing a motion picture on the big screen. Mom hated it, I remember, and it was one of the few times in my life we didn't wait to sit through the credits. I loved it. Always have. At the time we got Kazaam toys at Taco Bell.

Why, you ask, do I find Kazaam so terrible-ly good? Do I consider Shaquille O'Neal is a good actor? I've never been one to care too much about the actor behind the character; I could care less that Shaq is Kazaam, so the whole "bad crossover" criticism has never been comprehensible to me. But on the other hand, who better than that tall, tough Muslim to play an old-style Arabian genie who takes refuge in a boom box when his lamp's out of commission? Whatever the viewer's opinion of Kazaam's rapping--I find it not-over-the-top, which I like: there are so many movies I cannot enjoy because the writers just tried too hard to make the script clever--what better spin on traditional, poetic tales of magic lamps could there be? Kazaam becomes a nightclub sensation simply by telling his 5,000 year story as hip-hop lyrics, and consequently becomes somewhat sidetracked from his wish-granting duties by his fame! Some critics even take issue with the appearance of the average kid-protagonist's appearance and relatable white boy in the 'hood story! No taste, get lives people.

Kazaam, I should note, came to be on a fourth the budget poured into the aforementioned Space Jam, and, after seeing it for my third time last night, in this Pundit's unimpeachable opinion is a far superior film, set to entertain kids and adults alike for decades. A true treasure of the 90s. If you missed out on the 1996 release, you can catch Kazaam in 11 parts on You Tube, starting here. And for those in need of further convincing, here's the fun scene where Max Connor accidently summons Kazaam from the boom box, and here's Kazaam's rap about how he came to be a genie!

Befriend Kazaam on Facebook and boost its ratings on IMDB (I gave it a 9/10)!